So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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