one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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