any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
