I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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