Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
