omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
