end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
