I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
