I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
