I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
