We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
