I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
