I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Even my vagina gasped.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
