We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
