So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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