College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
