1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
