I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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