Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
