Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
