God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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