Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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