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• (669): View more from California

  I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.

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• (209): View more from California

  Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.

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• (818): View more from California

  my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  did you fuck him yet?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving

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• (310): View more from California

  Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?

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• (323): View more from California

  they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?

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• (805): View more from California

  Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos

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• (914): View more from New York

  you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through

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• (425): View more from Washington

  If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.

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• (858): View more from California

  He tried to eat me out...through my pants.

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