Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
