a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
