Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
