i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
