Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
