someone owes me an orgasm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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