tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I need to stop coming to work sober
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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