I bet he comes in French.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
