So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
