I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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