Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
