He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
