Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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