i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
