He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think people are normalizing furries
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
