I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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