from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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