I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
