guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
