she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
