I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
