I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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