I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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