That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
