Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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