As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
