Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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