I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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