You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
