Hey man sorry I got all grabby
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
