So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
NoShamevember. You game?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
