i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
