At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
