I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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