Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
