i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
