i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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