Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
