There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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